Loneliness is something we all face at some time or another. So I wanted to see what the bible has to say about loneliness. How should we handle it in our lives and how can we get through it? And so I looked through the bible to see what it has to say about it.

Adam is first example of someone who was alone

Genesis 2

7And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his

nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

8And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man

whom he had formed.

9And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the

sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of

knowledge of good and evil.

10And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and

became into four heads.

11The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah,

where there is gold;

12And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole

land of Ethiopia.

14And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of

Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

15And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and

to keep it.

16And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou

mayest freely eat:

17But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the

day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him

an help meet for him.

19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl

of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and

whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of

the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took

one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and

brought her unto the man.

So here is the first case, perhaps, of loneliness.

Another example,

Elijah was a Godly man who worked against the ungodly. After he’d just gone through the contest with the 450 false prophets of Baal and his life was threatened by Jezebel, he was feeling very alone and wanted to run away, so he did.

1 Kings 19

4But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down

under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is

enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

5And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and

said unto him, Arise and eat.

6And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of

water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

7And the angel of the LORD came again the second time, and touched him, and said,

Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

8And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days

and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.

9And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the

LORD came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?

10And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children

of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy

prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it

away.

And then God gives Elijah some tasks to do.

If Elijah had answered the question God asked, "What are you doing here?" He’d have had to say nothing at all. Maybe that’s why he had time to feel sorry for himself and lonely. But God gives him tasks to do. God has a plan for him. He was to go and and anoint a king over Israel and a prophet. Perhaps this is an example we can look to when we are feeling sorry for ourselves. God has tasks for us to do. He has work for us.

We are to be servants and to help those around us.

Jesus said in

Matthew 25

35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I

was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye

came unto me.

37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred,

and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye

have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Can become self-absorbed in loneliness

Psalms 42

1As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

2My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before

God?

3My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me,

Where is thy God?

4When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the

multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise,

with a multitude that kept holyday.

5Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou

in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

6O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the

land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.

7Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows

are gone over me.

8Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his

song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

9I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning

because of the oppression of the enemy?

10As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto

me, Where is thy God?

11Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope

thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my

God.

But does the psalmist here get caught up in self-pity? No, he looks to God in his time of need. He is thirsty for God.

Hebrews 13 we read

5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as

ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

6So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall

do unto me.

Again, we should always lean on God in those times when we feel lonely or empty. People can fail us or disappoint us in life but God will never forsake us.

Jesus said

John 15

1I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

2Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that

beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

3Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

4Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in

the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

5I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same

bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

. . .

14Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

15Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth:

but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have

made known unto you.

16Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go

and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask

of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

17These things I command you, that ye love one another.

18If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the

world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

So God knows how we feel.

Jesus came down to Earth to experience what it is to be human

Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we

hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Hardship is gain – Perhaps that time of loneliness is God’s way of bringing us closer to him.

2 Corinthians 6

1We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the

grace of God in vain.

2(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I

succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of

salvation.)

3Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed:

4But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in

afflictions, in necessities, in distresses,

5In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings;

6By pureness, by knowledge, by long suffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by

love unfeigned,

7By the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armour of righteousness on the

right hand and on the left,

8By honour and dishonour, by evil report and good report: as deceivers, and yet true;

9As unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and, behold, we live; as chastened, and

not killed;

10As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing,

and yet possessing all things.

We can be in these times of difficulty and problems but God can be a light for us in those times if we patiently cling to him.

Won’t read it now but Daniel chapter 6 talks about it

Imagine how lonely Daniel was when King Darius signed a decree that said he couldn’t worship God. He perhaps felt he was the only one in the whole kingdom who was loyal to God. Did he give in and pray to King Darius so that he could fit in with everyone else? No, he remained faithful to God and in doing so risked his life. But in the end, God helped him to prevail in that matter. That’s not to say that we’ll prevail in every matter in our lives because we believe in God. We’ll face persecution and problems. But we can use these times to teach us that while we perhaps can’t place all our faith in this world…as Daniel learned he couldn’t depend on Darius in his time of trouble…we can depend on God.

Paul said in

2 Timothy 4

16At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it

may not be laid to their charge.

17Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the

preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was

delivered out of the mouth of the lion.

18And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his

heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

So Paul knew where to place his faith

He triumphed in his problems because

2 Corinthians 12

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in

weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of

Christ may rest upon me.

10. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses

So in his times of trouble, Christ’s power was shown and the work of God was done.

Paul said in

2 Corinthians 4

8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in

despair;

9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

16For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward

man is renewed day by day.

17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more

exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

18While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen:

for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are

eternal.

So we should not despair on the inside, though things maybe going badly on the outside because this life is temporary. It’s a brief moment in the scheme of things.

We can be helped in our loneliness by knowing that we have Christian brothers and sisters here. And we know that we should never forsake the assembly.

Seek Christian friends

Paul was comforted by Titus in Macedonia

2 Corinthians 7:5-6

5For, when we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were

troubled on every side; without were fightings, within were fears.

6Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the

coming of Titus;

Perhaps socializing can be compared to money, or the consumption of anything in this life. If we put too much emphasis on our social lives then we are pulled away from God. God knows what we need in our lives and will provide for us these needs of life. He knows we need some socialization. For example, if you look at criminals in solitary confinement for extended periods of time, they eventually just go crazy because people are used to being around other people.

Luke 12:27

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that

Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

God will provide for our needs. We can’t obsess about our social lives and put them over God.

Extreme social status seeking:

As Waylen said in his lesson Sunday, God has is not concerned with our social status. When we read in those letters from the apostles in the new testament about how we should act, it isn’t for the good of our social lives. It’s for the good of our souls. Jesus didn’t tell us to love our neighbors because he thought it would help us gain social status and fame. He criticized the Pharisees who loved the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues. We’re supposed to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us. Look at those who are famous and popular in the world today. Look at people who live their lives in the public eye and who are famous...movie stars, political officers, famous musicians. They’re often self absorbed and superficial...perhaps some of the people around them are only cling to them because of their money or for the status of being around them. You’ve probably heard the saying, "It’s lonely at the top." Well, those are possibly some reasons why it might be.

If you look at the most popular kids where you are went to school or are going to school, in most cases, they aren’t popular because they are living for God. In fact, it can often be the opposite.

But anyway, these very public people are in sharp contrast to a Godly life of humbleness and loving our neighbors and being servants to God. We maybe ostracized by society but look at what we have. We have God, the most mighty on our side. We have a home in heaven if we are faithful. These are eternal. The best of what this life has to offer can’t compare to that.

And so, from the verses we’ve read here, God doesn’t give us specific lessons on what to say just to gain friends, how to become popular, and so on. He doesn’t tell us how to gain social status. That’s not what he wants us to focus on. There isn’t anything in the bible that says we can’t have friends. We do know that we shouldn’t forsake our Godly principles just to get out of loneliness...we should look to God in times of loneliness. It may be that we are frowned upon by people because of our Christianity but still, let’s never stop reaching out to those around us in the love for our neighbors that we as Christians have.

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your care upon him [God]; for he careth for you.