The family and their responsibilities with a focus on our responsibilities toward our parents when we are older.

Marriage is the basis of the family. God joins a couple together in his eyes.

Jesus describes this in:

Matthew 19
⁴"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' ⁵and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? ⁶So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

So, men and women are married and they leave their parents and in a way become one person in God's eyes as he joins them together.

Of course, the bible talks to Christians about how they are to behave in general. And it can certainly be applied to the family just as it can any situation.

Col 3

¹²Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

[We could certainly say that about a family couldn't we? That there is a love that binds us together. We feel a need to ]

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Another general suggestion here that could be applied to the family...that we act with peace in mind. In a family, we shouldn't be at eachothers' throats.

[Continued]
Rules more specifically for Christian Households
¹⁸Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
¹⁹Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
²⁰Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
²¹Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
²²Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.

We are reminded here that it is Christ that we are serving. We serve Christ as we fulfill our roles and responsibilities in the family.

Paul mentions the church affectionately as though he thought of them as his children. And he says something interesting in passing.

^{2 Cor 12}

¹⁴Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. ¹⁵So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less?

We know that parents are supposed to provide for their children. I think this passage shows how hard they should try to give of themselves for their children. Children should not be neglected, but cared for. It's sad to look around and see all of the neglect of children today by those who are supposed to care for them.

The children also have responsibilities to their parents.

Eph 6

¹Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ²"Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- ³"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." ⁴Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

[as many of us are probably more familiar with the way the KJV says this: nurture and admonition of the Lord.]

What did that mean that this is the first commandment with promise? Well, if we look back at the 10 commandments as they're described in Deut 5, we see them listed. As far as I can tell, this is the first one listed where there is a reward if the people followed it faithfully. But anyway, we are supposed to show obedience to our parents (assuming they tell us nothing outside of God's word). We are to treat them with respect.

Jesus criticized the Pharisees for their lack of care towards their parents and their violation of that command.

Mark 7
¹⁰For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' ¹¹But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), ¹²then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother.

Now to the matter that caused me to study this:

CARE OF WIDOWS, ELDERLY PARENTS

As I understand it, in many traditional Asian cultures, it's common to care for your parents to the extent of having them live with you. Although, many Asians by the 2^nd generation after they've moved to the US have dropped this tradition. But anyway, it's an interesting lesson in love and care that people would do this. From what I understand, it was very deeply ingrained in the Hebrew customs to take care of their parents. Here in the US, this doesn't seem to be the custom. Often, people try to make provisions for their needs when they are older. Perhaps those provisions fall through sometimes or perhaps they are just unable to care for themselves when they're really getting on in years.

We have general instructions about widows and elders given to us in:

1 Timothy 5


Advice About Widows, Elders and Slaves

¹Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
³Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. ⁴But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. ⁵The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. ⁶But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. ⁷Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. ⁸If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
⁹No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, ¹⁰and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
¹¹As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. ¹²Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. ¹³Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. ¹⁴So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. ¹⁵Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
¹⁶If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

It seems Paul was rather critical of younger widows in this passage. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps he saw a trend in the church at that time that involved younger widows becoming weak in the faith. And so he gave this warning.

So here is a description of a situation where one is actually supposed to take care of widows in her family...perhaps an admonishment to all of us that we should certainly try to take care of those in our families who cannot care for themselves...this might extend to a lot of other situations. Certainly you get the sense of love and dedication we are to have toward our families in general. That we aren't to leave them helpless if we have the ability to help them. This may become difficult at times. Maybe we have to give up going to something else so that we have time to attend to something for our parents. But much of the love mentioned in the bible is sacrificial...that is, giving up something out of the desire to do the godly thing.

Care for widows and orphans is generally something that the entire church should seek to do.

James 1

²⁶If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. ²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Prov 23:22

²² Listen to your father, who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.

We could take this as a warning that our respect for our parents is not supposed to diminish when we grow up. We are still to respect them.

Paul warned about the last days and, among other things, how people would grow disrespectful toward their parents as we see today.

2 Timothy 3

Godlessness in the Last Days

¹But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. ²People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,⁴treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- ⁵having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

And we see this today. Perhaps as a direct result of parents not disciplining or teaching their children when they're young to follow the Lord. They end up just doing whatever they feel like and then things get really bad when they turn into young adults.

The attitudes of the wicked mentioned in

Rom 1

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. ²⁹They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, ³⁰slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; ³¹they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. ³²Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

As with the passage we just read, this passage also lists disobedience to parents in a list of other seemingly more severe sins. But this emphasizes how God feels about disobedience to parents and how seriously he takes it. We read earlier in Mark 7 about how someone who cursed his father and mother under the Mosaic law was to be put to death. A very serious matter.

As a final scripture, I'd like to look at Jesus' example even as he was on the cross.

John 19

²⁵Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," ²⁷and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

Even as he was dying, he showed his love and concern for his mother.

I think we can see from the scriptures that we've read that we have a responsibility to care for our families as much as possible whether they be children our our aging parents...and even our grandparents if need be. We should love them enough to try and see that they're taken care of. These are lessons the bibles teach us Christians. That we are to be loving even toward strangers. And these lessons should certainly be applied to our families.

Anything additional?